In kindergarten. The kids, until 3. - Hello, children. My name is Jeanne G..
silence. And then quietly, someone's voice - Greedy Beef?.
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- Man, wife zadolbali - grumbling all the time, ' are not written in the sink, did not write down the sink. '.
- Yes, it is envy =).
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Should a man on the court and yelling.
- Wife -ah!.
- What do you want?.
- Do not Say what you like so much hut, I hit the door I can not!.
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Biker stoned and sat on the bike and went riding in a ring around the city.
Rides, rides, and a woman standing near the road and votes. Well, he stopped, and she says:.
- ' Man, I'm in a hurry to the station, please feel free to toss! ' .
Go further: the first circle of the ring, the second Trett, the fourth.
Woman:.
- ' Man, we seem to have passed through here! ...
Biker turns frightened:.
- ' Who's there?!? '.
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The mystical sensation: the official, who took no bribes, he retired on the water.
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- Son, how are you doing in school?.
- I am not the father dvoechnik ragovarivayu!!.
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A man walked into a pet store to buy a pet dealer told him the three parrots.
first parrot is $ 1,000 a man asks, why is a parrot so much? .
- He knows more than 100 words. second parrot costs $ 2000 a peasant again asked, and this is why so much?.
Seller: -on ' War and Peace ' literally knows. third parrot worth $ 5,000 a man stunned:.
- and this a special? .
I do not know, just those two call him boss.
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On the chemistry lesson:.
- What is the ultimate formula for compressed air?.
- O2. zir.
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kitchen. silence. Opens the refrigerator door. From there, throws out a huge mouse. pot-bellied,.
with a great 'face ' on the neck wound sausage in one hand a piece of cheese in the other leg drags,.
and slowly moves toward the mink. Suitable for small burrow. Before the mink is a small.
mousetrap and it dried a little piece of cheese. Fits and looks and says:.
- Well, honestly, how children.
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Ad:.
- Young, athletic, a budding criminal investigation inspector wishes.
flats to meet a thief operating in the area Pervomaisk.
Robbers, rapists and other areas - not to offer.
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- Well, darling, drink?.
- Well, as you say, Doctor.
- Talk honestly! .
- Well, if the name of this drink is divided into two parts, we obtain the names of animals.
- The horse - yak?.
- Exactly!.
- And how much do you drink?.
- And to know the answer to this question - the animals change places.
******.
A man watches telly.
Zhurnalist teleekrana with:.
- We are peredachu from Primorye, radioaktivny normalny background here!.
Man:.
- Yes? .
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- Well podari me something krasivoe, useful, and so a nadevat nA?.
- I podaryu you shapochku foil. krasivo can nadet zaschischaet and invasion of inoplanetnogo.
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At Rzhev birthday. Natasha Rostova soobschaet him that she has for him podarok.
Razdevaetsya dogola, and she just ostaetsya bantik nA samom pikantnom place.
Lieutenant Rzhevskij, zakatyvaya rukav:.
- Well, he daleko tam?.
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There is a daughter of the first raz nA disco. Mat it naputstvuet:.
- Dochenka you Well tam carefully! .
potantsevat you, then treat you shampanskim, then bring you an empty kvartiru nA to a friend.
tselovat be long, a cast and then nA krovat, nakinetsya, and here obescheschena you, your mat,.
father, and the whole your family!.
Daughter ushla. Vozvraschaetsya in the morning. Mat:.
- Dochenka, education has been where you are?!.
- Oh, mama, it was prekrasno! .
Then it povela nA empty kvartiru to her friend, tselovala him, then kinula nA krovat,.
nabrosilas nA him, and he 's disgraced, his mat, his father, and all his family!.
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Zhenschina obpatilas to the police about the zayavleniem ppopazhe myzha.
Her passpposili of ppimetah about ppivychkah, and m. Dr.. and govopyat:.
- What emy pepedat, kogda we pazyschem?.
- Pepedayte that my mama did not peshila ppiezzhat.
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LAST WORDS.
ekipazha aerobusa ' Tam lampochka zamigala - ladno, x. it. '.
malyara ' Razumeetsya, lesa vyderzhat! '.
astronavta: ' No, everything is in order! . '.
fizika - atomschika ' Kriticheskaya massa - not critical days, the case popravimoe. '.
zeka - begletsa: ' Now we are well zakrepili rope '.
Driver: ...
a drunk driver: ' Devil's column! .
avtoslesarya: ' Put a little platformu. '.
mashinista ekskavatora: 'What we tam za cylinder skrebanuli?.
We'll see. '.
wife of the driver: ' Vyezzhay, sprava free! '.
instruktora to alpinizmu: ' Nay s mine! . '.
biologa ' Eta snake nam izvestna. Its venom is not opasen for Human Being. '.
sapera: 'All. Similarly krasny. Krasny Cut! '.
pilota bombardirovschika nad vrazheskoy territory ' Vau! .
dostavschika pizza: ' Do vas zamechatelny dog. '.
pryguna with tarzanki ' Krasota:::. ! '.
himika: ' And if we do a little nagreem:? '.
Chemistry Teacher: ...
studenta - himika: ' Professor, believe me, it really reak interesnaya. '.
kompyuterschika amateur ' Itak, prodavets assured that the two karty uzhivayutsya. '.
kompyutera: 'Are you sure? .
krovelschika: ' Not today veterka. '.
syschika ' Sluchay simple: ubiytsa - you! '.
diabetika: ' It was sahar? '.
elektrogitarista ' mildew - kA I still Socko. '.
wife: ' My husband would return in the morning '.
muzha: ' Well. dorogaya. you did, I did not revnivaya '.
vora night: ' Come otsyuda. Syuda at their dobermana chain is not dotyagivaetsya. '.
izobretatelya ' Itak, let's ispytaniyam. '.
avtoinstruktora: ' Okay, now try samostoyatelno '.
ekzamenatora in avtoshkole ' Priparkuytes here nA naberezhnoy! '.
parashyutista ' @ Banay Mole! '.
komandira vzvoda: ' Nay is not a living soul in radiuse 10 kilometers. '.
myasnika ' Leh, throw my knife yonder! '.
komandira ekipazha: ' After a few minutes we'll take posadku in accordance with the raspisaniem. '.
peshehoda: ' But to me the green! '.
restorana visitor: ' I'll take a julienne gribami. '.
court pristava '. takzhe gun confiscation! ...
rabochego - puteytsa: ' Do not worry, the train will pass through the adjacent road! '.
ohotnika nA geparda: ' Hmm, a he quickly priblizhaetsya. '.
novobrantsa with combat granatoy: ' How late did you say I should doschitat? '.
Hero: ' Kakaya help!? . '.
palacha ' Loop shakes? . '.
staroy virgin (very staroy ): 'Ooooo! .
hozyaina zakusochnoy ' ponravilos unto you? '.
gruzovika driver: 'These starye bridges will stand forever! '.
two lion tamer: ' HOW TO? .
Driver ' Oka ': ' Well, here I am in the two tapes sneak institutional accounts, garbage! '.
povara zavodskoy dining room: ... '.
storozha night: ...
avtolyubitelya ' Zavtra same podedu check tormoza. '.
Police: ... '.
syna prezidenta: ' Papa, a for which eta krasnaya knopka? '.
velosipedista ' tak, here ' Volga ' nam ustupaet. '.
avtogonschika: ' I wonder mehanik pronyuhal not that I'm his little wife:? '.
fotoreportera: ' It will be sensatsionny shot! '.
trenera on n / a: ' All the time brosaem spear into the side! '.
studenta: ' I'm going to the dining room! '.
Christmas goose, 'Oh, holy born. '.
Tarzana, ' bastard Kakaya nasrala nA lianu! '.
tennisista parnoy in the game: 'My! '.
privratnika: ' Over my dead body. '.
otpusknika: 'One to Mayami, pozhaluysta! '.
whaler, ' tak, now he's nas nA hook! '.
kapitana submarine ' There urgent need to air out! '.
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Ha USE in literature graduate Sidorov much sense obogatil znamenitogo sayings.
Sokrata 'I znayu that nothing znayu '.
He dopisal: ' And I do not want znat '.
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Intelligent desantnik Navy Day in Moscow, the head of the bottle razbil.
' Shato de Gran Cru de Fezal Grav Blan ' urozhaya 1964 goda.
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Muzhchina zhaluetsya a friend:.
- I had everything: money, a great house, and mashina krasivaya zhenschina, kotoraya me lyubila. And then the bats! .
- What happened?.
- Zhena uznala.
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Sekretarsha zahodit in kabinet nachalniku to:.
- With this I will have momenta zarplata a thousand dollarov and 4 days off per week!.
Nachalnik with sarkazmom: - Who are you skazal, milaya?.
- Gynecologist and advokat!.
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- The money is there? .
- Only 10 rubles.
- Well, take it black caviar.
- What piece of prodayut?.
******.
Nox: I did not go origami.
m-utro: a long- ate?.
******.
- What are you, my opinion is not expensive??.
- What are you! .
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Three prim old Catholic talking in a cafe for a cup of coffee. The first boasts:.
- My son - already a pastor, when he comes, all he said ' Holy Father '. The second:.
- And I - Cardinal. When he comes, all he said ' Your Eminence '.
And the third is silent. First get it:.
- And what did you say something, tell us about her son. She said:.
- And my son - a handsome six-foot - stripper with a huge penis! .
exhale in unison, 'Oh, my God! '.
******.
Odnazhdy kishechnaya palochka nashla palochku magic, a Ta her and says:.
- Only srazu preduprezhdayu that the global diarrhea ustraivat will not, and do not ask dazhe.
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Girl comes to church for confession.
The priest says:.
- Tell me, is sinful?.
- The Holy Father, I am damn....
- Oh, this is a terrible sin, my daughter!.
- The Holy Father, you do not listen! .
******.
- Comrade! .
Due to the door:.
- Ho -p- ro- wo to you!.
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